I spent this weekend in Utah with family. It was my Grandparents 50th wedding Anniversary, however my Grandpa has been in the hospital with cellulitis and they were unable to attend. The Vincents still decided to meet and enjoy one another's company since they were going to be in town anyway. With a little extra room in the schedule, and led by my incredibly sweet mother, they decided to throw my wife a surprise baby shower! It was a big hit.
We then spent some time visiting both sides of my family. It was a pretty short trip but it really brings the important things of life back into focus.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Taking their Lunch Money
Yesterday a big decision came down from the courts on Prop 8. I have taken a day and tried to absorb everything and read everyone's opinion and idea on the situation. Most people who read this already know my position on Prop 8. The rest don't care. Interestingly enough, my problem with yesterday's ruling has absolutely nothing to do with my position on Gay Marriage.
The problem I have with yesterday's ruling is the voice of the loud overcame the voice of the majority. The majority of Californians were over shouted by those who don't believe in the same ideals or practices. But it was more than that; they were ridiculed, they were protested and they were intimidated. One side bullied another and now smugly celebrates a constitutional victory.
There is nothing constitutional about mudslinging, negative propaganda or bullying church goers as they enter in or leave their place of worship. There is nothing constitutional about using Hollywood to make another individual feel dumb because of what they believe. There is nothing constitutional about hating another man because of what they believe. And that is what this is become.
I also don't buy the argument of those who draw parallels between today and the equality movements of the sixties. Tell you what, when churches start lynching homosexuals - then you can threaten to pull their 'tax exemption' status. When people are dying, then you can call them haters, right-wing nut jobs and bigots.
The bigger issue at hand is that Prop 8 is no longer about ideals, or even ideas. It is no longer about the left and the right coming together to discuss ways to make America better for everyone. Its not about standing with your brother and learning about him and working with him. It's about name calling, venom spewing hate and a contest to see who can sound smarter and cooler in front of a crowd.
Yesterday was not a victory, regardless of what side of the issue you come down on. Yesterday just proved that bullies still exists and the school yard mob mentality stills runs the world well after graduation. All we got was a guaranteed long-term fight, a polarized country and absolutely no one willing to work together.
Our fathers would be proud.
The problem I have with yesterday's ruling is the voice of the loud overcame the voice of the majority. The majority of Californians were over shouted by those who don't believe in the same ideals or practices. But it was more than that; they were ridiculed, they were protested and they were intimidated. One side bullied another and now smugly celebrates a constitutional victory.
There is nothing constitutional about mudslinging, negative propaganda or bullying church goers as they enter in or leave their place of worship. There is nothing constitutional about using Hollywood to make another individual feel dumb because of what they believe. There is nothing constitutional about hating another man because of what they believe. And that is what this is become.
I also don't buy the argument of those who draw parallels between today and the equality movements of the sixties. Tell you what, when churches start lynching homosexuals - then you can threaten to pull their 'tax exemption' status. When people are dying, then you can call them haters, right-wing nut jobs and bigots.
The bigger issue at hand is that Prop 8 is no longer about ideals, or even ideas. It is no longer about the left and the right coming together to discuss ways to make America better for everyone. Its not about standing with your brother and learning about him and working with him. It's about name calling, venom spewing hate and a contest to see who can sound smarter and cooler in front of a crowd.
Yesterday was not a victory, regardless of what side of the issue you come down on. Yesterday just proved that bullies still exists and the school yard mob mentality stills runs the world well after graduation. All we got was a guaranteed long-term fight, a polarized country and absolutely no one willing to work together.
Our fathers would be proud.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Mistakes and Choices
Recently I apologized to someone for something that I did that offended them. My apology was very sincere and earnest, desperate even. Anyone who knows me can attest to that because they will tell you that bare the thought of being the cause of someone's displeasure. I hate it. Whenever I realize that I have hurt someone else, I do whatever I can to mend my actions; often with these words: I'm sorry, I made a mistake."
And I wonder why that doesn't always work.
Then I realized that it wasn't a mistake - it was choice. I made a choice to act in a certain manner and it affected someone else in a negative way. If it was an actually mistake, an under-calculated, mis-judged act, an apology would be enough to set things right. However, one's choices, the knowing acts of man that define his character, are not mistakes and take more than an apology to set right.
For example:
I am a fairly mild-mannered person when it comes to the lives of other people. I am understanding and accepting and very rarely get mad at other people (this is of course not based on the recent events - but we are working past this little elitist-judgmental phase I went through). However, I am incredibly hard on myself and place a considerable amount of stock in my own actions. If I do not perform up to my own expectations, I become very, very upset. This used to just affect the lives of people I played sports with, but I have noticed it creep into all aspects of my life. See, in my own head, I was not angry with anyone but myself; disappointed in my own actions and discouraged that I have underperformed in front of people who deserve my best, my friends. But what they see is an angry young man throwing a temper tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted.
In efforts to apologize for my actions, I have realized that there is only one way to actually ask forgiveness; TO NOT GET ANGRY. Easier said than done, but it really is as simple as that. I made a choice to act in a certain way; not a mistake, a choice. The only way to rectify that is to make the choice to reverse those actions and hope that a positive reaction follows. Either that or give up basketball, golf, entrepreneurial ventures, speaking, writing, singing, all financial workings, and marriage. At this point, I think it may be a toss-up on which will be easier.
Okay, add making jokes to that list too.
Who we are and how we act cannot be categorized as a mistake when we hurt others around us. These are our choices, this is who we are. So, when we hurt someone else because of who we are; we can either string together an ultimately meaningless apology for an un-existing mistake;
Or we can change.
And I wonder why that doesn't always work.
Then I realized that it wasn't a mistake - it was choice. I made a choice to act in a certain manner and it affected someone else in a negative way. If it was an actually mistake, an under-calculated, mis-judged act, an apology would be enough to set things right. However, one's choices, the knowing acts of man that define his character, are not mistakes and take more than an apology to set right.
For example:
I am a fairly mild-mannered person when it comes to the lives of other people. I am understanding and accepting and very rarely get mad at other people (this is of course not based on the recent events - but we are working past this little elitist-judgmental phase I went through). However, I am incredibly hard on myself and place a considerable amount of stock in my own actions. If I do not perform up to my own expectations, I become very, very upset. This used to just affect the lives of people I played sports with, but I have noticed it creep into all aspects of my life. See, in my own head, I was not angry with anyone but myself; disappointed in my own actions and discouraged that I have underperformed in front of people who deserve my best, my friends. But what they see is an angry young man throwing a temper tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted.
In efforts to apologize for my actions, I have realized that there is only one way to actually ask forgiveness; TO NOT GET ANGRY. Easier said than done, but it really is as simple as that. I made a choice to act in a certain way; not a mistake, a choice. The only way to rectify that is to make the choice to reverse those actions and hope that a positive reaction follows. Either that or give up basketball, golf, entrepreneurial ventures, speaking, writing, singing, all financial workings, and marriage. At this point, I think it may be a toss-up on which will be easier.
Okay, add making jokes to that list too.
Who we are and how we act cannot be categorized as a mistake when we hurt others around us. These are our choices, this is who we are. So, when we hurt someone else because of who we are; we can either string together an ultimately meaningless apology for an un-existing mistake;
Or we can change.
Friday, July 2, 2010
One singular sensation
For some time I have been intrigued with the powers held by people acting alone in their ideas. Whether for good or evil, the power of one remains a viable force in the world. The naysayers will say that no one man can actually change the greater whole, to which I agree on some levels. But to me it seems like the bigger picture, the greater purpose of life, is not to change the world at-large but to change yourself. Change at any level is difficult as is, but to change your own personal way of going about life in such a way that it alters your own personal nature; that is a monumental victory that cannot help but affect others for good.
The following story, as well as additional information can be found at http://www.pri.org/business/social-entrepreneurs/the-power-of-not-talking2059.html
In 1971, two tankers crashed near the Golden Gate bridge, spilling 840,000 gallons of oil into the waters near San Francisco. After seeing the environmental destruction wreaked on the San Francisco bay, John Francis "really wanted to do something," he told PRI's The Takeaway. "I wanted to get out and start walking." Francis vowed to stop riding in motorized vehicles, a prohibition that lasted for some 22 years.
Walking around the earth, Francis soon tired of the endless arguments he was pulled into. People accused him of trying to make them feel bad for riding in cars. Francis explained, "In my little community people started arguing with me about what one person could do." So Francis quit talking for the next 17 years.
The experience of not talking taught Francis the value of listening to other people. He founded a nonprofit called Planetwalker, was briefly employed by the Coast Guard and helped write oil spill legislation, was named a goodwill ambassador to the United Nations. He earned a PHD and taught classes without saying a word.
By staying silent and not riding in motorized vehicles, Francis also realized a more expansive definition of "the environment." He said in a talk to the TED conference, "environment changed from being about trees and species to how we treat each other."
The part of this story that impresses me the most is that Francis did not intend to start a global movement, he simply wanted to change a part of his life that, he felt, would be for the better. As a result of his actions, the world changed. There is still no global movement - the world is still riddled with problems, but the actions of one man have forced change. He changed himself, he changed his community, he changed me. And who knows, maybe he will change the 11 people who take the time to read this blog.
I really do think that is the secret to a better life: Do not try to change your surrounding environment. First change the way you think, the way you live and allow your environment adapt to you. It will almost always be for the better.
The following story, as well as additional information can be found at http://www.pri.org/business/social-entrepreneurs/the-power-of-not-talking2059.html
In 1971, two tankers crashed near the Golden Gate bridge, spilling 840,000 gallons of oil into the waters near San Francisco. After seeing the environmental destruction wreaked on the San Francisco bay, John Francis "really wanted to do something," he told PRI's The Takeaway. "I wanted to get out and start walking." Francis vowed to stop riding in motorized vehicles, a prohibition that lasted for some 22 years.
Walking around the earth, Francis soon tired of the endless arguments he was pulled into. People accused him of trying to make them feel bad for riding in cars. Francis explained, "In my little community people started arguing with me about what one person could do." So Francis quit talking for the next 17 years.
The experience of not talking taught Francis the value of listening to other people. He founded a nonprofit called Planetwalker, was briefly employed by the Coast Guard and helped write oil spill legislation, was named a goodwill ambassador to the United Nations. He earned a PHD and taught classes without saying a word.
By staying silent and not riding in motorized vehicles, Francis also realized a more expansive definition of "the environment." He said in a talk to the TED conference, "environment changed from being about trees and species to how we treat each other."
The part of this story that impresses me the most is that Francis did not intend to start a global movement, he simply wanted to change a part of his life that, he felt, would be for the better. As a result of his actions, the world changed. There is still no global movement - the world is still riddled with problems, but the actions of one man have forced change. He changed himself, he changed his community, he changed me. And who knows, maybe he will change the 11 people who take the time to read this blog.
I really do think that is the secret to a better life: Do not try to change your surrounding environment. First change the way you think, the way you live and allow your environment adapt to you. It will almost always be for the better.
Monday, June 28, 2010
New Look.
No new reason for the new look. Saw the picture, liked the picture. I have been looking for a new look for a while now, clouds seemed nice. There you have it.
Friday, June 25, 2010
We're never gonna survive, unless...
You really have to be nuts to survive in days like this. With the economy giving more mixed signals than hormonal women, politics making less and less sense (which only makes politicians scream louder and louder) and people becoming more agitated and less patient with each other every single day; the only possible way to succeed - or even enjoy life a little, is to be undeniably, un-apologetically crazy.
Point #1 - When you are nuts, the laws of politically correct go out the window. Forcing yourself to be politically correct all the time is enough stress to give someone an Aneurysm, I mean, a is a localized, blood-filled dilation caused by disease or weakening of the vessel wall, not stress. Being nuts would allow us to speak what we think and what we want. Now, I am not saying throw good manners and common courtesy to the wind; because then we would all just sound like Glenn Beck (but even he gets away with a lot because we all know he is certifiable), but say what you think - and the rest of you deal with it because good ideas can come from a wide range of un-PC ideas.
Point #2 - Plausible Deny-ability. First off, I love that word and use it as often as possible. I also like gangsterism - mainly because I didn't know that was actually a word until today and I really wanted to use it in a sentence. Secondly, deny-ability is crucial to the success to all relationships whether personal, business or otherwise. Now I used to believe in owning up for one's actions, but marriage has a special way of removing that idea from your consciousness. Deny-ability can save you in almost any difficult circumstance, and what's more plausible than lunacy? Why do you think the French never get blamed for anything? "What do you mean we made a controversial ad targeted at gay people? How could we, we're crazy!" Now let's apply this to a more personal experience:
Wife: Did you eat all the ice cream?
Me: No, baby. I know you like Mint Chocolate Chip and I would never do that to you.
Wife: Mitch, the empty carton is in the trash under your desk and there is a spoon next to your computer.
Me: Sweetheart, you know I am way to crazy to be able to pull that stunt. I don't even know where you keep the spoons.
Wife: (Considerable thought) Good point.
Point #3 - The greatest advancements in life are created by the insane, because nobody else is crazy enough to attempt such a stunt. I believe in genius, timing and complete will power are the three main attributes of those successful in life. Whether it be business, family or sports; those characteristics are needed to excel at what you do. But they are nothing unless attached to an obvious crazed obsession to whatever you are pursuing. Example:
Coach: Son, you just snapped your femur. I think its time to hang up the cleats.
Player: No way coach, there's 15min left to play - plus I'll be a senior next year.
Coach: Are you stupid boy? You can't even walk.
Player: No way, coach. I am just crazy about Football.
Coach: Okay, son. What am I going to tell the officials.
Player: Don't worry, coach. Everyone thinks your a nut-case; you got plausable deny-ability!
Coach: Son, that's a level of gangsterism I have never seen in a player. I am proud of you.
See, it totally works. Everyone needs to be a little crazy. Again, I'm not talking like ear-cutting, stick a knife in a socket, dress in woman's clothing on the weekends-crazy. But I think everyone needs to take a step back, relax and go a little crazy this weekend.
Point #1 - When you are nuts, the laws of politically correct go out the window. Forcing yourself to be politically correct all the time is enough stress to give someone an Aneurysm, I mean, a is a localized, blood-filled dilation caused by disease or weakening of the vessel wall, not stress. Being nuts would allow us to speak what we think and what we want. Now, I am not saying throw good manners and common courtesy to the wind; because then we would all just sound like Glenn Beck (but even he gets away with a lot because we all know he is certifiable), but say what you think - and the rest of you deal with it because good ideas can come from a wide range of un-PC ideas.
Point #2 - Plausible Deny-ability. First off, I love that word and use it as often as possible. I also like gangsterism - mainly because I didn't know that was actually a word until today and I really wanted to use it in a sentence. Secondly, deny-ability is crucial to the success to all relationships whether personal, business or otherwise. Now I used to believe in owning up for one's actions, but marriage has a special way of removing that idea from your consciousness. Deny-ability can save you in almost any difficult circumstance, and what's more plausible than lunacy? Why do you think the French never get blamed for anything? "What do you mean we made a controversial ad targeted at gay people? How could we, we're crazy!" Now let's apply this to a more personal experience:
Wife: Did you eat all the ice cream?
Me: No, baby. I know you like Mint Chocolate Chip and I would never do that to you.
Wife: Mitch, the empty carton is in the trash under your desk and there is a spoon next to your computer.
Me: Sweetheart, you know I am way to crazy to be able to pull that stunt. I don't even know where you keep the spoons.
Wife: (Considerable thought) Good point.
Point #3 - The greatest advancements in life are created by the insane, because nobody else is crazy enough to attempt such a stunt. I believe in genius, timing and complete will power are the three main attributes of those successful in life. Whether it be business, family or sports; those characteristics are needed to excel at what you do. But they are nothing unless attached to an obvious crazed obsession to whatever you are pursuing. Example:
Coach: Son, you just snapped your femur. I think its time to hang up the cleats.
Player: No way coach, there's 15min left to play - plus I'll be a senior next year.
Coach: Are you stupid boy? You can't even walk.
Player: No way, coach. I am just crazy about Football.
Coach: Okay, son. What am I going to tell the officials.
Player: Don't worry, coach. Everyone thinks your a nut-case; you got plausable deny-ability!
Coach: Son, that's a level of gangsterism I have never seen in a player. I am proud of you.
See, it totally works. Everyone needs to be a little crazy. Again, I'm not talking like ear-cutting, stick a knife in a socket, dress in woman's clothing on the weekends-crazy. But I think everyone needs to take a step back, relax and go a little crazy this weekend.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Memorial Day
It’s hard for me to put my opinion on war into words. War, in my mind, is an animal so closely related to hate that it is hard to believe that it is often graced with words like honor, strength and loyalty. For every good thing that had ever come out of a war, there were hundreds of evils released to wreak havoc on billions of people who never did anything but get up in the morning. When discussing war crimes, a writer whom a greatly admire once wrote, “All wars are crimes.”
I have not always felt this way. In fact, I was a staunch supporter at one point (no surprise, weren’t we all?). I was so full of frustration, fear and anger that I fully supported our Government raining all hell on anyone who m I didn’t like. I wanted the U.S. Armed forces to be the “arm of the Lord” and I was fully ready to put the fear of God into any and all who ever dared to hurt me again. I wanted to defend my freedom and I knew that blood would be shed for its cause.
Now I don’t know. I don’t think anyone else does either.
War seems so different now than when I was growing up. No one can truthfully tell the difference between peace time and war time, enemies cannot be identified until after someone has been killed; our boys are out there fighting ghosts. They are out there doing things, seeing things and becoming a part of a history that people back home do not want to recognize. Back home, we’re too busy avoiding the real truth that there is a continental-sized mess on our hands, and rather than fixing it, we take turns placing blame and calling each other names.
There is a real evil in the world that drives people to the point of madness that even bloodshed is not enough to satisfy the hate that runs through their veins. I am grateful for those men and women who died protecting me from that hatred. I am grateful that I have never, ever seen the horrors of such deep, abiding hatred. I am grateful that I never had to kill my brother over land or property. I have never had to fight to defend the life of those seen as less-than-equal. I have never had to liberate entire continents from the grips of madmen. I have never had to fight for people who have no global voice, or global worth. I have never had to fight while my neighbors, family and friends have openly declared against the wars being fought. I have never had to fight. I am thankful and relieved, for I would never come back the same person, if I even came back at all.
“All wars are crimes,” but let us never forget those who sacrificed their own breath for crimes that they did not commit. Let us not forget for the fathers and sons, mothers and daughters who left the comforts of this land and ran into the hells across the globe for no other reason than to ensure that we didn’t have to. They died, so that I might live, so that we all may live in peace that I hope will soon arrive for everyone everywhere.
“There are deeds that must not pass away. There are memories that must not wither.”
Happy Memorial Day
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