Rock your body remix

A woman walked past me in the mall who was, very obviously, mentally handicapped. She was walking with a walker and with someone else holding onto her to keep her from falling. Even with that assistance, she walked like balance was a very serious challenge. However, Justin Timberlake's "Rock your body" was playing overhead and her limp-walk was in perfect sync to the beat of the song. She looked like she was strutting to the music. As I passed her with a smile on my face I thought, "If you are doing that on purpose, God bless you."

The begining of the end...

And so it begins...

The thing about same sex marriage is that its not the actual marriage that will tear this country apart. The hatred that spawns from this issue is what is going to completely polarize this already fragmented country. Adding fuel to this fire will only give both sides a reason to hate each other more. I do not see any way to land on either side of this argument without accruing enemies from the other end of the spectrum.

So here we go; The biggest trial of the century is about to big. It ironic, though, this case is primarily based on love and it will spawn only more hatred in the world for one another.

And so it begins.

Is Shawbooya a word?

Yours truly just landed a $15 Million contract last night. No details yet due to the fact that I would rather not jinx anything. But I am starting to bid farewell to my 9-5, making ends barely meet, watching mall-walking, listening to the same four hour music track-ing, come home and collapse for three hours and get up and do-it-again...life.

New checklist

1) Debt. Gone.
2) Cable? Yes. I shall not miss another sporting event unless someone is dying...or being born
3) Wife? New shoes.
4) Disneyland.

Pedestrian Athletic Conference

My Mountain West Conference was just berated while I was not in a position to counter (can't fight back when impatient old ladies are waiting at the counter). His defense, PAC-10 blah blah blah....

The PAC-10 is this year's ode to mediocrity. Three teams ranked in the top 25 and the rest....well... They were all 8-4, good enough to beat on the cream-puff teams but nobody could really step up into the ranks of greatness. A bunch of could-have-been games and chokes.

The Mountain West is the BCS buster conference and a continuous thorn in the side of the PAC-10. Undefeated TCU, 10-2 BYU. Long live the MWC

Layaway and S***

I feel bad....

A girl just called the store and ask if we were the Footlocker in the mall. Being the only Footlocker in a 50 mile area, I thought about making a joke, but I thought to myself "it's early, let that one go." I said, "yes we are." He is the conversation that followed:

Valley Girl: Ummm, okay. Do you guys do like, layaway's and S*** for Christmas?

Me: (beat) Yeah, we do.

Valley Girl: Ummm, okay, so like if I came in and bought an 80 dollar shoe for Christmas, like
how much would I have to put down?

Me: 20 percent.

Valley Girl: (pause) ...annnnnnd how much would that be...?

Me: 16 bucks

Valley Girl: (quickly) Okay sorry I am like being retarded or something.

(Silence)

Valley Girl: Ok, Thanks!

Me: No problem, thanks for calling.

After I hung up, I felt really bad because I made her feel stupid on purpose. And I think my self-righteous attitude probably did not help the situation. So to everyone out there who will be calling footlocker today; Please attempt to sound intelligent so I don't feel bad for exposing your inability to do basic math.

Letter of Regret

Dear Coach Whittingham,

As a fan of the Brigham Young University Football program, please allow me to formally apologize for and in behalf the actions of a few fellow fans, players, and students directed towards your organization.

We wish to express our gratitude for such a wonderful rivalry between two excellent football teams that has generated hundreds of thousands of fans, memories and revenue dollars for the greater Salt Lake area. Please disregard our blatant disregard of sportsmanship when our players call your team, organization and university 'classless', or incite that your team is an unworthy opponent. We seem to overlook the devastating loss from last year or thrice escaping embarrassment by the skin of our teeth in recent games. Never mind our own fans and students who physically harassed your wife and daughter after the game; but yet take the time and effort to publicly reprimand those who verbally 'assault' us at Rice-Eccles stadium. Please try to overlook the fact that we refer to your school as a second-class school full of drunks and godless heretics (despite our school being a private Christian organization which teaches us not to judge), when you school population is, in-fact, over half LDS.

Coach, football is a great sport. If I may, the greatest sport on this earth. We hope that you will continue to better the athletes of this fine game, despite our poor attitudes. We hope you will continue to ethically fuel this great rivalry for years to come, despite our childish antics. Please welcome us back next year for a great game - and we pray that you will not run us into the ground; God knows you have every right.

Sincerely,

BYU Fans

PS - If Max Hall were actually consistent enough to warrant even a second glance for the Heisman, and I actually got a vote; I'd drop him from the ballot for his incredibly brainless and childish blunder.

Nine to Five

Is it really impossible to find worth-while things to do between the hours of nine and five? Is that an unreasonable request? Most people have aspirations to find a job that will guide them to riches, early retirement, nice houses and the easy life. All I want is a job that will challenge me to work harder and be better then I was yesterday; something that, when completed, I can look back upon and be proud of. Proud to have been a part of the job, proud to have changed someone's life, proud to have worked my tail off to make this rock we live on a better place.

Then I will expect the riches and a nice house. But no retirement, there are things to be done here.