Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

I have now been married for over two weeks now - almost reaching veteran status, right? We are settling into the new digs and I finally got Internet up an running (apparently things like heating and light are more important, but I would call that a matter of perspective) and am finally getting life back to normal.

The Seattle Post Intelligencer reports that George W. Bush is leaving office with an approval rating of 34 percent, the lowest of any U.S. president since Nixon. I find it very hard to believe of the 61% who don't approve, and the 5% who were distracted by a bumblebee or something during the survey really have any idea of what the president does everyday; so how can you approve or disapprove.

Here's my beef: If someone asks me if I approve or President Bush's job in office I will say, "He did some good things and he did some stupid things." But how can you rate someones job when you can't possibly comprehend what the job entails. I concede that the man is no Washington-or whomever you hold on your political pedestal, but he can't possibly be as bad as this 34% survey says. What about these guys:

The Stupid

Thomas Jefferson chose Aaron Burr as his VP, whom then attempted to steal the Presidency and was later tried for treason.

William Harrison lasted a month in the Oval after catching pneumonia shortly after his inauguration.

William "slipping zipper" Clinton and his 'non-sexual' relations with Monica Lewinsky

Political Blunders

James Buchanan did nothing to avert Civil War when signs of contempt began creeping into the country.

Woodrow Wilson refused to compromise on the Treaty of Versailles after World War I.

Richard Nixon's involvement in the Watergate cover-up.

John F. Kennedy allowed the Bay of Pigs Invasion that led to the Cuban Missile Crisis.

GW is not the only one available for sound bytes

"I am convinced that UFOs exist, because I have seen one." -Jimmy Carter (1976)

"Half the time, when I see the evening news, I wouldn't be for me either." -Bill Clinton (1995)

"I just won't get into a pissing contest with that skunk." -Dwight D. Eisenhower (1953 - referring to Sen. Joseph McCarthy)

"So dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time."-Lyndon Johnson (regarding Gerald Ford)

"When the president does it, that means it is not illegal. But I brought myself down. I gave them a sword and they stuck it in and twisted it with relish. And I guess that if I had been in their position, I'd have done the same thing." -Richard Nixon (1977)

"James Bond is a man of honor, a symbol of real value to the free world." -Ronald Reagan

"I don't much care for your law, but, by golly, this bourbon is good." -Harry Truman (to Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas)

34 percent? Come on, give the guy a break.

"What Lack I Yet?"

I have decided there are two things in this world that have an enormously detrimental effect on the global society:

1) Apathy
2) Stupidity

I also believe that the latter hinges on the former. If people lose desire to change and grow, intelligence levels will decrease dramatically. The desire to change yourself, or the world around you is powerful enough to drive people to do extraordinary things, the lack of such doesn't seem to cause colossal failure - that would be welcomed. Instead individuals, entire cultures even, seem to rock themselves into an apathetic coma, crippling any possible good that can come from those people.

The lack of intelligence spawns from from apathy. Individuals may be born without knowledge, but all are intelligent. Intelligence is something inherently present in all, and is something that must be lost, or willfully given away; that's when scary things happen. I believe all evil is a result in a lack of intelligence. Everything bad that has ever happened (that I can think of) can be traced to a single action, I believe, committed without intelligence.

Don't lose desire - it's the bottleneck that leads to the downfall of all that is good.

Everyone wants on the wagon.

Reuters reports that Cuba's former leader Fidel Castro said on Thursday his country could talk to U.S. President-elect Barack Obama, in Havana's latest overture to the incoming Democratic administration in Washington.
His remarks followed comments from his brother, President Raul Castro, who told a U.S. magazine he could meet Obama in a "neutral place" to try to end the Communist-run island's four-decade conflict with the United States.

He hasn't even taken office yet and people are already talking. Hmmm.

Russon responds to Chrysler: I DON'T CARE

Dailybreeze.com reports that "A top executive of Chrysler LLC cautioned Wednesday that a carmaker collapse could send the economy spiraling into a depression, as the United Auto Workers union braced for contract concessions.
Jim Press, Chrysler's vice chairman, said the U.S. automakers were "down to months left," as industry officials ratcheted up a fierce lobbying push to persuade Congress to approve as much as $34 billion in emergency aid. "

It's too bad no one asked me for a comment. But here is what I would have said if they did:

"And how much do you make a year, sir?"

-Regardless of response:

"You cut every salary of every executive who makes over triple the nation's average and I will consider not hitting you with a Chrysler."

I am cutting every corner just to make rent and buy groceries and you want to tell me that your multi-billion dollar company is hurting and might start a depression?

Let 'em go under.

Talking Big

Isn't it interesting that we are always able to "talk up" the things that we can or will do with our lives. When it comes to goal setting and interpersonal communication, we as a people have a tendency to talk big and hope that no one notices. Why is that?

I think that it is because we are afraid of failure. We don't want to be the guy that set that goal and then came up short. But I am starting to realize that that is not really a bad thing.

I am king of comparisons and talking myself up to other people, (please reference my resume for further explanation) because I am afraid to show other people my weaknesses and failures. "It is not becoming of one such as I." [Reminder to insert previous phrase into resume] However, as I have begun to share my weaknesses and failures with one unfortunate individual, I am become more understanding of my own self; I am learning how to actually fulfill the 'big talk' I so easily dish out.

The key is simply to do. Just go out and do all the nonsense you say you are going to do. If you fail, I completely believe that most of the world will not even notice or care. But sooner or later you will accomplish something amazing, something worth telling the world about. Perhaps even something that can be inserted into your resume without requiring additional embellishing.

And if no one else cares, let me know; I am sure I can spare a few moments to bask in the light of others' achievements-with little to no bitterness.

Good thing you saved five bucks

CNN reports a temporary Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death in a rush of thousands of early morning shoppers as he and other employees attempted to unlock the doors of a Long Island, New York, store at 5 am this morning. The Wal-Mart worker, whom authorities did not identify, was 34 and lived in Queens, said Nassau County police Detective Lt. Michael Fleming."This was utter chaos as these men tried to open the door this morning," Fleming said (http://edition.cnn.com/2008/US/11/28/black.friday.violence/#cnnSTCVideo).

At what point did people become so voracious to willingly trample a 34 year old man in order to beat the soccer mom next to you? Is Ebay really too hard to navigate that you must stamp the life out of your local salesperson in your flannel pants and bunny slippers in a race to grab the latest robot dinosaur or the latest playskool whatnot; all of which will be broken or forgotten by Valentine's Day?

I really can't believe that that in the midst of this holiday season, a time when we're supposed to at least pretend to be nice to those around us, that we as a people could stoop to such a low level and not even reach down to pull the poor guy up after he was ran over by materialistic mothers and fathers racing to satisfy their children's superficial desires.

Don't get me wrong, I love to shop and buy gifts as much as the next guy, but to run the man over without even looking down to see if he was okay? I would hate to see what happened to the 70 year old man greeting such warm customers, or the mother of six who just wasn't moving fast enough to pull the 'Tickle-me-elmo' off the top shelf.

I hope those parents enjoy giving those gifts on Christmas. I hope they tell their child how hard they worked to get them their new 'Ultimate Bumblebee Transformer.'

"Here you are son; your new 'Nerf' gun I ran some poor sap over to get to remind you of the holiday of giving."

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart. I hope you enjoy your new 'Barbie Ford Mustang. Mommy is going to go drown here guilt in a little hard eggnog now."

Ten bucks says whatever was worth killing a man for is lost, broken, or forgotten in ten weeks, tops. But I hope everyone remembers the man who no longer has the option to celebrate this terribly malignant season, all so a few soulless shoppers could save a buck.

Merry Christmas, or whatever it is we pretend to honor.

Premium Quality Beef

I have this theory that when placed together in large groups, people are no smarter than cattle. Over the past few days or so, I have decided to watch people as they move from place to place to see if there is actually some truth to it. Here is what I have observed:

-People will eat just about anything placed in front of them, sometimes even with substantial knowledge that it will do them bodily harm. I have spoken to men who have seen cattle eat an entire pair of jeans and seven feet of rope.
Check.

-Rather than getting up and solving the problem, people often let little annoyances run ramped whilst sluggishly swatting at it in hope of being some sort of deterrence.
-Have you ever seen a cow move quickly to avoid annoyances?
Check.

-People move in packs; following the leader over grass, through bushes, into busy streets without so much as looking at their surroundings. The local university has begun to put fences up to direct students out of the dying grass and onto concrete that has been designated for walking upon called a sidewalk. Students walk forward, see the fence and lazily move back into the flow heading toward the sidewalk. Mission accomplished.
-They don't call it herding cattle for nothing.
Check.

And to think, a little brain power and we could actually be like smart and stuff.

Etticut for every room.

While walking into the restroom yesterday I noticed a sign posted on the door which read: NO CELL PHONE USE IN BATHROOM. I laughed on the way in, but then began to wonder why cell phones were forbidden whilst taking care of business. Here are some possible reasons:

- Casual conversations in the bathroom give others the stage fright
- Disagreeable noises have created one too many disagreeable phone calls
- A series of events where men have "missed the mark" due to cell phones has caused an actionable response
- Viruses are being transported from contact with the phone (Gross, that one could be true. Wash your hands, nasty people!)

Whatever the cause is, I am sure it is important to restrict cell phone use, for everyone's safety. So the next time you hear someone chatting it up in the stall next to you, be sure to reach under there and remind them that it would be wise to return the call later, for everyone's benifit.

I am not reporting to the cotton fields!

Five days ago the clear majority of this country elected itself a new president to lead for the next four years. Over the past five days I have had some time to think about what the impact of this election means. However, I am a little ‘politically’ burned out. For the most part, I am wondering how America will react in the media. What will conservative-haters write about next? Where will Aaron Sorkin draw his inspiration from if the Bush administration is gone (never mind, I forgot we still have Christians to make fun of)?
What will republicans do now that they get four years to whine about the Obama White House? At the very least, I was hoping they would be intelligent; and unfortunately I think that that is going to be a little too much to ask for.

In the past five days, I have received seven; count them, seven racially degrading texts from random people about Barack Obama. How terribly degrading and disappointing. Seriously people, if you are going to take the petty rite of bashing the President; please, at the very least try to do so with a little class. Democrats at least tried to impress the rest of the world with big words and fancy phrases. So far, I am unimpressed with Barack Bashing. They don’t even have anything to bash yet! Comon’ guys, you better live up to the last eight years of political humor, and I do not want to hear anymore quips about a cotton field. It is the epitome of unintelligence.

Or maybe I just have really racist friends.